Finding Imperishable Beauty

In recent years, I’ve discovered a new appreciation for modesty. I never really considered it as important as it really is, especially in the Christian woman’s life. Unfortunately, the beauty of modesty has been lost in our world, even in our churches. In a lot of circles, the word modesty implies a plethora of things, many of which aren’t always positive. Our culture specifically has made modesty out to seem like an illogical refusal of the freedoms the world offers. Our media displays modesty as the turtleneck-wearing, ponytail-styled, unconfident and shy virgin who is completely shut off from society. While, yes, a turtleneck is a modest clothing option, we don’t need to close ourselves off to other images of modesty. Modesty also implies discretion, restraint, humility, and simplicity—things I believe to be very beautiful and important. Through scripture reading, growing maturity, and friendships with women who are gorgeous examples of modest womanhood, I have a desire to share with other women the importance of modesty. I don’t want this to be a list of things not to do—although I will suggest that you should remove the Facebook profile picture of you in your bikini—but rather what to do in order to pursue modesty and purity in your life.

About a year ago, I had my small group of young women visit a website listing all of the things women wear that might tempt a man towards sinful thoughts (if anyone remembers or knows of the site, I'd love to know, I can't seem to locate it now). Although some of those items seemed ridiculous (i.e. a woman applying chapstick/lipstick in public), there is value in that list, which is what I wanted them to see. For instance, that men are really bothered by the length of your skirt, something we women tend to view indifferently. Of course, it isn’t solely our responsibility as women to protect men from lustful thoughts. It is their personal responsibility to armor themselves with the word of God in order to protect themselves from those thoughts. However, it is still a responsibility that we women have, and it’s one that I want to take seriously and hold with high importance.

1 Timothy reminds us of the importance of feminine modesty: “Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness – with good works” (1 Timothy 2:8-10). The first thing that this verse points out is that we should be clothing ourselves in respectable apparel. Some other synonyms for this word might be “suitable,” “proper,” “decent,” and “upright.” In other words, what we wear should be an expression of these things, ultimately displaying modesty and self-control. Although today braids or gold earrings might not be too flashy of a fashion statement, I think that the point is that what we wear is going to make some sort of a statement. So, what statement are you making with your clothing? Are you declaring, “Hey, look at my chest!” or “Hey, look at my wealth!” or “Hey, look at my godliness!”?

 What we wear should reflect our desire for purity in both our lives and those we interact with. When we dress in excess display of wealth, we reflect the desire for attention. And, when we dress revealingly, we are essentially calling impure thoughts to ourselves. I know that many of us think about the “laws of attraction” in attracting a potential boyfriend or husband. But, impressing them with exposed skin is not what God desires. The way we should dress is with God as the one we desire to impress. His expectations are far classier. And, God’s beauty rules are the best form of attraction we can ever have. With Him as our impression point, modesty is an obvious reaction. The following verse shows us what impression points are most precious to God:

“Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:3-5). God finds a woman’s gentle and quiet spirit far more beautiful than even the most exquisite clothes. A woman’s heart is more beautiful than her figure on display. That beauty, unlike soft unwrinkled skin and fashion forward clothing, is imperishable.

Many of us have the tendency to think only of ourselves in regards to this topic, but the Bible is clear that we are also supposed to look to the interests of others (Philippians 2:4). We have a responsibility as Christians and as women to help our brothers in Christ, and—might I suggest—to also encourage and help our sisters in Christ! And the above verses, I believe, give us clear direction on what our modesty should look like. One of my small group girls pointed out, in our discussion of this topic, “it seems like anything we do or wear can potentially tempt a guy.” Well, I guess that’s true, which is why I say it isn't solely our responsibility because there is only so much that we can do to help out our brothers. It is my belief, however, that if we wake up every morning with our hearts set on the desire to glorify and honor God, we will naturally lean towards modesty. Therefore, it is my encouragement that we as women in Christ monitor our intentions on what we wear. The “what not to wear” list is huge and can be helpful, but the biggest helper will be the Holy Spirit. Allow yourself time in the morning to focus on the glory of God, feed the Holy Spirit within you, and modesty will truly reflect itself in your life.