Unfailing Love

It's Valentine's Day. For some people this holiday carries a mix of emotions with it. Some of us resent it because it reminds us of our singleness, our loneliness, or our lack of worth. Valentine's Day couldn't be over quick enough. Others of us enjoy the excuse to spoil our loved ones in special ways. But, when Valentine's Day is over, things are suddenly normal and unexciting. Usually--and I'm not saying always--but usually, this day is a letdown for most of us. Whether it's our expectations or lack thereof, this declared "holiday of love" is not all it's cracked up to be.

For a long time, the holiday created in me feelings of despite and hope. I wanted to stand strong as a member of this "singles awareness" day, despising this culture-fabricated day, while always hoping for a secret admirer to arise just in time for that day. Like I said before, Valentine's Day carries with it a crazy mix of emotions for most of us.

Being married now I love that Valentine's Day is another day to show my husband how much I love him in special ways. But, during the week leading up to the day, I am definitely feeling the pressure of performance. Walking past Valentine's Day magazine editions in every grocery store, eyeing thoughtful and time-consuming handmade gifts on Pinterest, and seeing men and women rushing through specialty shops for that perfect gift (no expense is too much, right?) is enough to make me feel like a Valentine's stress case. I don't want to fail to express my love for my husband in the best way I can. And as someone who has been a perfectionist most of her life, I can step dangerously close to allowing myself to be worldly consumed.

Luckily though, my devotional time this week has been very grounding...

As I've thought over my fear of failing to love my husband in the best ways possible, I realized that it is inevitable that I will fail, to some extent. He may not even recognize the failure upright, but as long as I am living in this sinful world, my ability to love is going to fail at times. Although we are called as Christians to "love your neighbor as yourself," our sinful nature will get in the way. Whether it is selfishness, pride, ambition, busyness, greed, bitterness, or something else (or a mixture of things), our selfs get in the way of loving other people at some time or another.

Now, this isn't an excuse for not putting into practice loving your neighbor, but rather an encouragement to not let the world determine for you how love needs to be expressed in order for it not to fail. Consumer society will make you feel like if you didn't spend this amount of money or get this, that, or the other item for your loved one that you are a failure. When the fact is, we will fail regardless, in some way, at some time or another.

But, however many times I might fail at loving my husband, my friends, my family, and my neighbors, there is someone whose love never fails, will never fail. Jesus Christ is the definition, expression, image, and perfect exemplar of love. And if you doubt this, I urge you to read through the gospels to see for yourself. His life, death, and resurrection were love in which we'll never be able to replicate. But, if I ever hope to be able to love at all effectively, His life is the only way I'll learn how to. As Jesus says in response to the teachers of the law in Mark 12, the most important commandment is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength" (Mark 12:30). When you endeavor to do this, when your focus and love for the Gospel is first in your life, your tendency towards sin becomes less and your love for others will come more freely.

So, whether you are spending Valentine's Day with friends, or at work, or at home, or with a loved one, I hope that you'll endeavor to remember Christ's love for you. Don't let the world's definition of love consume you in feelings of anxiety, despair, and lack of satisfaction. God's love is more than satisfying, a fount that ever sustains.

And as a last reminder, God's love endures FOREVER. Here on this earth, our love at times stumbles. Sometimes it pulls itself up right away; sometimes it crouches low, afraid it might stumble again; and sometimes it just falls belly-flat against the ground and lingers there a while. But, as Psalm 136 says 26 times, "His love endures forever." Our love will fail, but in the midst of all things, God's endures.