Anger's Way or the Way of Love?

I definitely feel like we all go through periods where we are closer to God and then not so close to God. There are so many different factors that could be coming into play: a lack of godly relationships in your life, disappointment, laziness… and anger. As I was reading through Ephesians today, I realized more than ever before that anger (in what ever shape it takes, i.e. frustration, bitterness) prohibits us from growing closer to God. Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” How often do I actually allow a whole day to pass without cleaning up an argument or calming my frustrations? Well, according to scripture, I’m giving the devil a foothold when I stay frustrated or upset with someone. I would like to say that I always turn to prayer and reconciliation in such situations, but I don’t. I’m preventing myself from growing closer to God and giving time to the devil, who needs only that one day to get his foothold in my life.

When I think of my life, I realize that during the times I was angry, I was the most distant from God. Sometimes I think that anger sounds like a kind of harsh word, like it’s too severe an emotion, but when you look up its literal definition it is “a feeling of extreme annoyance.” Common synonyms are annoyance, irritation, antagonism, frustration, fury, and rage. When do we ever consider annoyance as a severe emotion? The last two probably get tied to anger more often than the others. However, when it comes down to it, they are all types of anger. It’s honestly pretty rare for me to feel anger like fury or rage, but I know that I struggle with annoyance and frustration at times, as I’m sure many of us do. Many times that anger leads to sin, which could be tearing someone down through words spoken aloud or in the heart. Anger can lead to “unwholesome talk,” which Ephesians 4:29 speaks against. It is essential for us, as positive examples and lights of Christ, to say things that only work to build up those around us. What am I possibly saying, thinking, or doing when I’m frustrated that is benefiting anyone around me? Nothing. Paul tells us, “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). By letting the sun go down on my anger, I don’t allow forgiveness! How can I deny forgiveness when someone died for my own?

I’m reminded of Matthew 5:23-24, which says “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” The offerings we give Him nowadays are prayers, and here we are told that we should seek out amends with our brothers or sisters who we’ve experienced any sort of anger towards before we offer up our prayers to Him. God desires us to have peace with one another. We are called to love one another, which is the ultimate element of peace. How can we uphold commandment to love, if our words and actions through something like anger express exactly the opposite?

We were shown grace in Jesus despite our faults, despite our darkest sins… We were forgiven so that we could forgive… Let’s strive to be more like Him: loving beyond faults, forgiving all transgressions, and in moments anger begins to arise, “search your hearts and be silent” (Psalms 4:4) so that only His love and glory may be shown. So that we might continue growing in relationship with Him, and deny all access to the devil, who is always anxiously waiting.