A Filthy Little Hello

One thing I’ve noticed about our culture is that it has become okay for us to use foul words to address each other. Well, actually, I’m sure I’ve noticed it for a while, but it’s started to affect me more recently because I’m seeing the trend played out in Christian culture as well. I particularly feel drawn to focus on women because this is where I see it most often, though I’m sure men participate in this as well. There seems to be a tendency to call each other names and somehow give vulgar words a positive definition. You probably hear it all the time, if you think about it. A popular address nowadays may be “Hey, Bitch,” or “Hey, Hoe,” as if their relationship with that person suddenly makes something about the word “bitch” or “whore” cute and amiable. I don’t really know how this trend was brought on. Most likely through pop culture hip-hop/rap artists or reality TV idols. But I wonder who actually thinks about what they’re saying. As far as I am concerned (and the dictionary, for that matter), those words have very negative denotations and connotations (unless, of course, you’re a dog breeder and are literally talking about a female dog). Since when did we create these exceptions? For instance, it’s okay to greet someone this way and it can be endearing, but if you were to call that same person the same thing when they’re not around, then it is mean and slanderous.

Whether or not the person doesn’t care that you’ve just called them a whore, what suggestion are you implying through using that word? In my opinion this does nothing to build up anyone, rather it tears at their personal beauty, character and respect. Likewise, it does nothing to build up your character either, if you are the one using it. Now I know that our conversational word usage is not of Victorian era propriety, but there is still something to say for being a lady and for presenting yourself with modesty and the desire to build up others. Just like the importance of dressing modestly, it is important to clothe yourself with modest language. Ephesians 4:29 tells us, “do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.” If you greeted your friend this way in public, what might those people walking by assume about your character? They might not give two cents how you’ve just addressed your friend, but as God’s children who are called to be lights in the world, what if this is the one and only chance you get to show that particular passerby a little of God’s light? The same goes for Twitter and Facebook. What are you showing your non-Christian friends about the Christian life when you post things that make it look like you are more part of this world than not? 

My sisters, let’s illuminate our desire for purity in all areas, including our speech!

In Colossians chapter 3, Paul addresses rules for holy living, which have been extremely convicting to me. He commands that we must “rid [ourselves] of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips” (Col. 3:8). This list deals primarily with speech that expresses hatred to other people. While a person’s intention may not be to express hate to that person by addressing them in one of the ways I’ve shown, I believe the connotative and denotative meanings of these words are undoubtedly foul and hateful. This should also be a reminder to us also that the same thing goes along with using bad language and cursing in general. While I am not an authority to tell you that this is what you must do to be an exemplary Christian, I do think that we should all strive towards purity in our lives. And our speech is no exception. If you continue reading this passage, there is also an important reminder that is pointed out to us. That we are to “clothe [ourselves] with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” We are to “bear with each other” and forgive each other as the Lord has forgiven us (Col. 3:12-14). So, if you are witness to one of your sisters using such coarse language, remember to practice these things. Things like gentleness and, of course, forgiveness.

I know that one argument against what I’m saying might be: “well, I’m just joking. They know that. My friends don’t take it seriously.” I’ve actually heard it before, in my own house. Whether or not you’re intending to joke, however, this does not eliminate the meaning behind the word you’ve chosen to use. You can’t take back the impression you might’ve just made on someone around you. The Bible tells us that there is to “be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving” (Ephesians 5:4, emphasis added). Thanksgiving means to express thanks to God. My question is: shouldn’t our friends, even our acquaintances, feel that we genuinely thank God for who they are? For who He has created them to be? Using bawdy, vulgar, coarse language seems to me to demean that. Instead of greeting our sisters by spitting out filth at them, let us come to each other expressing joy, love and thanksgiving for who they are and the special influence they have in our lives. For, as sisters in Christ, there is a special dearness that we hold to each other that can’t be seen anywhere else. So, treat each other dearly, remembering this bond.

Instead of filling ourselves with crude language that will undoubtedly, eventually trickle into our own speech, let us remember God’s Word and His desire for us to love each other. Our desire should be to build each other up, in love, with Jesus as our prime example. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God” (Col. 3:16).