Amazing Gift

I’ve been helped in so many amazing ways this year with the relationship I’ve repaved with God. At one time my path with Him was smooth… He helped me lay the bricks in a straight and orderly fashion, all directed towards His plan for me. A couple years ago, the bricks were misaligned and the mortar was cracked. Most of the time, I chose a more perpendicular, dirt path that appeared to be quicker and more popular. Occasionally, I’d come back to the brick path I’d laid out under His hand. I would feel my old desire to walk near to Him and recognize the lifting of heavy weight off of my shoulders, but in the end I saw myself alone on that brick path. I let others convince me that I didn’t want to be alone on that path, that I wanted to be on the socially accepted dirt path. But, I was never alone on that brick path. He was always there, my family was always there, and deeper, more significant relationships with people were only a short distance down the path. I used to want things quick without having to put in much effort. For a little less than a year, I’ve been replacing missing bricks and filling in the cracks with new mortar. As I kept going, my relationship with God grew strong. I’ve been listening to Him and, in return, He has been listening to my prayers. Every so often, I still find a brick here and there that needs to be replaced or a crack that needs to be patched, but I expect the path to be imperfect and so does He. I recognize the places that need to be fixed and God helps me fix them in order to continue fulfilling my relationship with Him. He has rewarded me in so many ways since then. His gifts are truly awesome. I’m happier in my relationships with my family and friends, I feel more fulfilled on a daily basis, and I’ve become more inspired. And recently, He brought Josh into my life.

God gave me the most amazing gift, which is to have a relationship that is centered around him. I know this from how effortless it was for our relationship to start (we didn’t have to try to make anything happen, He made it happen); I know this because when we’re together we are entirely who God intended us to be, ourselves; I know this because through him I see God. When he smiles, I know that it is God whom he smiles for. When we are in conversation, I hear God in the words we speak and in the silence. When he puts his arm around me, I feel God’s touch. When we hold hands, it’s like our fingers are intertwined pieces of thread that belong to the greater woven blanket that is His Love. And being with Josh, we are happy, we are silly, and we are excited… I feel refreshed and ecstatic with every day that comes our way, and trust in the days beyond our present reach.

At first I caught myself wondering if this was all too good to be true. How is it that this wonderful person could suddenly come into my life? I honestly didn’t expect it. But thinking those things was showing doubt in God, not embracing Him and thanking Him for how generous He has been to me. And he has been GENEROUS. Josh is everything that I need and everything God wants me to have. He knows that together we will grow even closer to Him, and that is what is so amazing and thrilling! I thank God every day for bringing Josh into my life.

Is it easy to slip into regret and consider the brick path that I left abandoned for so long? Yes. But I’ve also learned that I do not need to intoxicate myself with regret because God has already forgiven me for straying. He has forgiven me, and now I am secure. Regret would be reconsidering how my life has come to its present position… and my life at present is better than I could ever have hoped for it to be. I have a loving family, an amazing boyfriend, and an even more awesome God. 

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Dear Josh,

I know that He will reveal new colors to us everyday, and I look forward to every single sunrise that opens our days together and every single sunset that closes them. You are intelligent, thoughtful, passionate, and full of hope, and I appreciate you for every amazing quality and idiosyncrasy that God has given you.

~Jenna