The Stylist

I'm not quite sure how it's possible to discover so much aggression towards an individual. More and more lately, I find myself having to calm myself down and remind myself to remain patient and mature. I guess I pretended to be "fine" for so long, that now that I should be fine, I'm not. I catch myself wanting to scream sometimes because everything has changed so much. (Haha, so here goes another blog on "change"! Does that mean something if I keep coming back to this topic? Maybe that there's a lot of it, or maybe that it's difficult for me to accept it? I don't know.) 

I've been so extremely stressed out lately, it's ridiculous. I know that no person should be going through as much stress as I've put on myself. For a while there, I was nervously seeking some form of employment and nobody seemed to want to hire me. I just found out that I forgot to take a bunch of prep for major classes, so I might have to stick it out at Grossmont for an additional semester, which doesn't make me too happy. I think most of all, however, I've been stressing out about the different relationships I have with people in my life. I've already talked about how so many people in my life have changed, well it's become a huge concern lately because I haven't felt even slightly connected to most of my friends that I had when I left. My mom says I'm paranoid, but I think I was just accustomed to being around people constantly on SAS that now that I have so much alone time, I've become lonely.  And, I know, aww how sad... no, I'm not depressed or crying about it all the time... it's just a realization that I had recently. People need other people around them, and although I have my family, I'm having friend withdrawals. 

Which is why... I'm super excited to go to Becca's tonight and see some people I haven't seen in forever!!!